Saturday, August 17, 2013

and then there was Just Bo

I don't want to rehash all the details that led to our decision because I'd rather forget the night I had to come to the understanding that two of my dogs put the safety of my boys in jeopardy.  I was mad at them that night and the following day.  Mad that they were emotionally hurting me by forcing me to make the decision, even Bo was upset and refused to go into the room where the incident played out.

You see, we had to make the decision to rehome our two dachshunds.  Our dachshunds that we have had for almost nine years.

I cried, and I cried, and I cried. I still cry.

Cuervo quickly found a home with one of the veterinarian's technician on Monday when AJ took her in for her yearly shots and antibiotics.  She is a real sweetheart and loves to give kisses.  We hear she's happy and loving her new friends, one being a Yorkie she shares a bed.

Cuervo is local, and we get pictures and texts.  We can also stop by and see her, though right now, I know I am not strong enough to go see her and not take her home.  We can't bring her home, and I know I'll cry.

Aidan still asks for CoCo, and it hurts to tell him that CoCo went Byebye. Aidan doesn't understand that two of his dogs are not coming back home, and each day, when he rides home, he'll only have Bo to greet him.

Dachshunds tend to grow attached to a particular person in the family.  SoCo chose me. Maybe it was the walks, the cuddling, the treats, or that I was always up first so we always spent quiet time together.  Who knows, but I think her fondness of me is what caused the tension and jealousy that led to her aggression towards others and Cuervo.  So it was harder to find a home for SoCo.  We knew
every day that SoCo was at the house was a risk we were taking in regards to Aidan's safety.  AJ networked with a lot of horse folks, and we had two potential homes, but neither worked out.  So we found a dachshund rescue that does not euthanize and strives to find homes for all of the dogs it takes in.
We took one last ride together this past Saturday up to York, SC. It wasn't an easy ride - it started with me crying in the driveway and waiting for my tears to dry up so I could drive safely.  It ended with me crying as the GPS told me my destination was on the left in a quarter mile.  When I stepped out of my vehicle, I was already crying.  I cried when all the dachshunds came running outside - so many dogs who need a home, and usually I'm the one giving a home, not the opposite.   I cried when Aidan said "Coco"because they looked like his dogs.  I cried when he kept repeating "puppy" which he had not used previously. 

SoCo as a puppy
Before I left the rescue, the owner hugged me twice...and I let her.  She could see how much I was hurting, but also how much I loved my dog.  I had to collect myself before I was able to drive off - thankfully I was headed to visit a friend nearby, which greatly lifted my spirit.  I don't know how else I would have managed the drive home.  I needed something to make me smile, and Aidan was feeding off my emotions.  I saw tears in his eyes, too.  Though he probably only understood that I was sad, which is why he was sad.

Cuervo as a puppy
One week has passed since Cuervo and SoCo have been gone from our house.  It was weird when I rolled out of bed Monday morning, and two dogs didn't follow me to the bathroom, wait to be told to go outside, and wagging their tails for breakfast.

It's odd for me to roll over in bed and not have to push SoCo out of my space.  And I'm sad when I pick Aidan up, and we go through all the names and talks about going home to see "Bobo" and "Coco" and "SoCo". 

When I read a custom book to Aidan that talks about who loves him, I cried when I flipped to the page to read about his doggies who love him.  When I read an alphabet book, and I came to "C", I cried because I always said "C" was for "CoCo".  When Aidan wants to play with the dog book or the "That's not my puppy" book, I have to remind myself to hold it together for him.

SoCo and Cuervo were like our first kids, and having to rehome them has not been easy.  They have been with us since Clemson, seen us graduate & get married, moved to Utah, return to SC, marked our first house, and have played many times on our land where our forever home is being built.  We designed our house with a sun room that was heated and cooled for SoCo and Cuervo.  Sure, Bo can use it, but he likes to be outside a lot more than inside.  I know it made me cry (yes, more tears...) when I went to the house to take pictures of the progress; the sun room was their room, just like Aidan and Owen have a room.  I'm sure when we move in, I'll be sad again. Surprise, surprise, writing this blog made me cry - in fact, I had to take numerous breaks, and I can't bear to proofread because that means reading all of this at once.

To those who are currently loving our dogs, we thank you.  We hope the first 9 years are adventurous as their next 9 years.  We hope that they learn to love you as much as they loved us, and we already know that Cuervo is loved like we loved her.  We hope to hear that SoCo finds her forever home, but for now, we know SoCo is being well cared for and loved at the Dachshund rescue in York - I stalk the facebook page for updates and the Owner gladly takes my phone call to let me know how SoCo is doing.

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