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Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Living with Chaos

This post is part of a blog series detailing the experience with an unexpected pregnancy and the miscarriage that followed.

Living with Chaos


I’m in this weird place since the pregnancy/miscarriage.  The pregnancy shook up life as I knew it.

I like order.
I like planned things.
I like even numbers.
I like tucked in shirts with belts in belt loops.
I like consistency.
I need a routine.

When I found out I was pregnant, I worried about my lack of vitamin intake especially folic acid (even though I average eating 6 oranges a week). I worried about my night out with girlfriends where I had margaritas and beer.  I worried about my exposure to an X ray.  

Then I worried about the petty stuff – like how will I get my body back after a third kid, will I have time to work out, will this be the baby that gives me stretch marks, and will this be the baby that causes hemorrhoids that finally require actual surgery?

But I would trade all those worries and all those petty things to have the baby I lost. I would gain all the weight in the world if it meant I was still growing a baby today.  But I can’t change what happened, no matter what I worried about, nothing would have changed the outcome.  The outcome was decided before I even saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test.

Even though I would do anything to change what happened, we won’t pursue a third.  I found my peace, and while the void in my heart will always remain, I found a way to cope with her presence elsewhere.

She pushed my boundaries from day one.  She made me cope with the number 3 (and 5).

I began to accept I would combine the boy’s clothes into one closet, and I might not be able to keep them sorted by use and color.  

I accepted that 2 would be in one room and 1 would be in another room.  I accepted the unbalanced scenario.

I accepted that décor laid out with two in mind would need to be modified for three.

She pushed me into a world of chaos, and I don’t know how to nor do I want to escape it.

So I’m trying new things. I feel compelled to do so, and I have never felt like this.

Natural Hair, Non polo shirt, colorful
necklace and untucked shirt without
a belt
Not straigtening my hair -  It took a lot of effort and willpower to try and leave my hair natural, which by the way, takes less work physically but mentally is draining. Hah.  My natural hair has no order, whereas neatly straightened hair does (in my mind).

I sometimes trade in my Pandora necklace for something of color, something that compliments the shirt I’m wearing.  Or at least I think they compliment the shirt…Pinterest better not fail me.

I’ve embraced a lot more (work) shirts that aren’t collared, aka “Polo” shirts.  I sent a lot of polos to Goodwill and stocked up on new types of shirts.  Blouses are the more technical term, I suppose.

Sometimes, I don’t wear a belt, and I’m OKAY with it.  Being okay with not wearing a belt is a tremendous step for me, whether it’s the right direction or not, I’m living in a new world.

I bought ballet type shoes, I have never owned these nor desired to own these, but I felt like I needed them.  One pair is orange (surprise!) and the other is blue and green patterned.  Patterned shoes?! Only cowboy boots were allowed to have patterns.

I’m not ready for my closet to be in a disorganized fashion.
I’m not ready to accept that it is okay to be late (on the very, very rare occasion).
I’m not prepared to mix my food or having it touch or eating different colored candies together.
But I am open to relinquishing some control and letting go of some of those oddities I felt I need to live with everyday.  Maybe I’ll go grocery shopping on a Tuesday…break my routine a little bit.

I’m living in chaos, and I’m okay being here.  I know where this Diana came from, for she drove me here, but I don’t know how this Diana makes these choices so easily now.


Sucks to Be Right

This post is part of a blog series detailing the experience with an unexpected pregnancy and the miscarriage that followed.


The Third
Sucks to be Right


Just like the days leading up to the pregnancy test, the days leading up to my 10 week ultrasound, I was hoping that I would be proven crazy.

I had hoped that I was wrong about my instincts, I had to be crazy because somewhere deep down inside of me, I hadn’t fully accepted this pregnancy.  Where else would these thoughts and this anxiety come from? Surely it was just disbelief speaking but it wasn’t true, couldn’t be true, we were IN LOVE with this baby, we were planning for this baby.

I was experiencing sensitive teeth and gums, bloody noses, the silly wispy hair, the crazy pregnancy dreams, and not being able to sleep in

What I wasn’t experiencing any more was fatigue, nausea, or super smelling capabilities.  These were key in both of my pregnancies, especially fatigue.

Week 7 passed by, and I thought, fatigue is coming.

I remember falling asleep on the car ride to my sister’s wedding shower when I was pregnant with Aidan  (I was a passenger!).  I remember sleeping again at the wedding shower while I waited for guests to show.  I was just over 8 weeks.  So week 9, right, week 9, fatigue will show up.

I remember with both of my pregnancies being so tired after work that I had to fight off fatigue on my way home.  I wasn’t experiencing this…I had too much energy for a body that was supposed to be growing a baby.

I wasn’t sleeping well, worrying, bad thoughts, bad dreams, but I wanted to believe fatigue was on its way.  

I had two nightmares – one where I woke up to a miscarriage that had happened and the next night, I dreamt the doctor told me bad news, and I followed it up with dinner and drinks with my parents.  Side note, I had been to an adult birthday party where everyone was drinking these lovely green margaritas, and I could just taste them by smelling a whiff of one, which is why I think this showed up in my nightmare when I received the bad news.

Mentally, for two weeks, I had been withdrawing from this pregnancy…trying to be cautious with my heart but telling myself I’m crazy and kept on planning for this baby.  I had two healthy pregnancies, surely I wouldn’t have a miscarriage.

So at 10 weeks, I went in for my ultrasound. AJ wasn’t sure if he could make, but given my lack of optimism, I knew I needed him there just in case…but the U/S was going to confirm I was crazy and everything was okay and the baby was growing, right?!

Wrong.  

The tech and I laughed about and agreed this little baby was meant to be if it beat the odds that it did. Little did she know I was extremely paranoid that she was going to confirm my worse fear, so her joking around and making comments really eased my mind.

AJ made it just in time – he came in to see the U/S tech hand down there moving the instrument around taking measurements.  She took longer than I remember any of the techs before when conducting the initial pregnancy U/S. So I felt relief, surely there must be something to measure, though she didn’t stop to show me the heartbeat like the previous tech’s did with my other pregnancies…

Then she told me “Your baby is not 10 weeks like you thought, it’s more like 5 to 6 weeks.”  No heartbeat, nothing to really look at the screen, no pictures to take home…well none that we would want to take home.

I found out shortly after 5 weeks, my fatigue and nausea symptoms stopped around 6 weeks.  If I was 5 to 6 weeks, that means when I came in over 4 weeks ago to confirm the pregnancy with a blood/urine tests, I would have been less than two weeks pregnant.  The freaking positive line on the store brand test was the first thing to show and a very dark line, NO WAY was I two weeks pregnant staring at a positive pregnancy test.   

There can be a week or so difference between the U/S and where I should be growth wise. So the OB tried to remain optimistic, he wanted to see me back in a week for another U/S to see if the baby grew more.

I joked, I told him I had planned on telling him that this was absolutely his last chance to deliver one of my babies.  He missed the actual delivery because my boys came on the weekend, and he was not on weekend duty at the time.

He joked that he plans (see, Mr. GottabeOptimistic) to induce me earlier so he can deliver my baby.

I never made it to the appointment, not pregnant at least.

I miscarried naturally starting around 8 PM on April 3rd and done around 4 am on April 4th.  I’m fortunate this occurred while I was at home, my boys were in bed, and AJ was home.

At work, I thought I would be prepared for this miscarriage happening, spare clothes and pads.  I thought it would be a heavy menstrual cycle.  I thought

There’s no stopping a miscarriage and the body pushing the contents of your uterus out.  I don’t care if you do 10,000 kegels a day, those muscles are going to push not contract.  If I was anywhere besides home, I wouldn’t have made it home, my car would have been a mess.  I didn’t sleep much between 8 and 4.  I’d start to drift off and then feel my body pushing something out and race to the bathroom.  Several times I didn’t make it. I went through many sets of clothes, towels and blankets.

Between midnight and 4 am, some of the times I rushed to the bathroom, I wasn’t sure if I could make it back to my bed, I would almost pass out.  I thought I was just exhausted from the process, but I later learned it was from the blood loss.

Curiosity got the best of me, too. I would have to look at the contents after they were expelled from my body. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t, but I couldn’t not know what my baby looked like.  I know the baby was extremely small whenever it stopped growing and most of the contents was the support system being built for the baby, but I had to see everything with my own eyes.

There was at least once that I slept by the toilet because I couldn’t make it back to bed. My memory is a blur, but I do know that the cold tile floor felt comforting.  There were times I was very hot and shaking with chills.  It was a miserable experience, physically and emotionally.

When I woke up the next day, I couldn’t stand or hardly sit up.  At some point I managed to make my way to the shower, but I had to lay down.  When AJ came looking for me, I was on the floor of the bathroom, towels covering me, trying to find the strength to dry off.

I asked for breakfast, a dose of iron and a glass of orange juice.  I laid there on the floor eating, and finally, I was able to sit and dry off. Eventually I was able to dress, then I was back in bed.

I thought the worse was over and that I needed to take it easy to allow my body to recover.  I was weak, so I didn’t stand long or pick my boys up.  I did take it easy, I even took a day off of work when we placed concrete, and I did not want to miss concrete.  

But a mere 10 days later, I realized the nightmare wasn’t over yet.  I passed a large clot, had a bettercallthedoctor amount of bright red bleeding, and even needed to change pants.  In addition, the day before and that day, I noticed a less than pleasant smell.  They weren’t sure if I would be able to see my OB due to an extremely busy schedule, and I understood.

Sidenote, the night before, Owen jumped on my stomach and bounced, not that I let him, it was sudden.  I really think he helped shake that clot loose, and in a way, his shenanigans, while not welcomed at the time, were probably what helped me.

I was fortunate that my doctor made time to see me.  After an U/S, I saw the nurse and the doctor who told me I had an incomplete miscarriage and some sort of complicated somethingoranother. I obviously pay attention well (truly, my memory has failed me because I did know what he said).  


My choices were to take a medication to possibly cause my body to finish the miscarriage, but there was no guarantee it would work OR to have a D&C done the very next day.  I needed my body to be done and on the path to healing, so D&C is the route I chose.  Thank goodness because with the medication, my blood levels would have dropped lower, and that’s where Being Negative picks up.


This might seem crude to others, but it's the way my science mind works.  This loss flows through our septic tank which has a drain field that feeds our backyard.  Therefore, I like to think that she is part of our ecosystem right at our house, and we'll see her grow through our plants and grass.  This world was not ready for her, so she's living the way she was meant to be. (We both thought this baby was a girl).



The Third

This post is part of a blog series detailing the experience with an unexpected pregnancy and the miscarriage that followed.

Wrong Side of the Statistic
The Third

Big News!
Once we were 2 dreaming of being 3
Then we were 3 dreaming of 4

Now we are 4

And will soon be blessed with one more.
(Ultrasound pic)
So come October, AJ and I will officially be outnumbered!

Surprised?
I debate how much I should share, because one day my kids could find my blog (and know the truth/what I didn’t tell them). I am not ashamed of my blog – it’s an online diary that I choose to share with the public.  It’s not like they couldn’t find a written diary in my room one day and read it.
So I share because I want to document it, I want to remember my feelings, and perhaps, someone out there that reads this went through what I did or is going (or will be going through) what I did.  
So if you’re shocked and surprised by the unexpected announcement, believe me, I was 1,000 x more shocked than you are.
Early in our dating period, AJ and I discussed children.  We both had the desire to have two kids. TWO.  There wasn’t a thought to having one child or having a large family. TWO was perfect for us.  
When Owen arrived, we knew in our hearts, our family was complete. We were whole.
After Owen’s first birthday, we made arrangements to ensure we only had two kids. We followed the doctor’s orders.
Then I felt something different about my body – little bloating, no acne, little fatigue, and not being able to sleep in (even when my oldest toddler did or when the boys had sleepovers elsewhere). So I started thinking, started plotting dates, started freaking out but convincing myself I was creating symptoms – I was being paranoid.  I told myself that it wasn’t easy to get to the point of being pregnant with the boys, that surely, this couldn’t just happen so randomly, so odd breaking, so easily.
So to calm my fears, I bought a pregnancy test. I bought the cheapest one I could find, and I bought just one.  All I need is one to tell me that I’m not pregnant.
So on a cold Monday morning, I awoke for work, and the first thing I did was take the test.  The test can take from 2 to 10 minutes to show up, and I thought making my breakfast and starting my coffee, then come back to read the negative pregnancy test.
But I couldn’t move away from the test…the first thing to show up was the line that differentiates a positive pregnancy test from the negative (line would be absent). Seriously? I’m looking at the test, waiting for the negative line and the control line, and the first thing I see is the positive?!  Shock starts to overcome, but I tell myself all of the lines must show up or it’s a false test…so then comes the negative line to complete the + and then the control line | shows up.
I stood there, staring at the test. Shaking, crying, freaking out. I wanted to throw it, call it a liar, and take another (which I didn’t have). I also wanted to wake AJ up, shove the test in his face and kick him in the rear.  But I didn’t. Side note, Aidan woke up several times throughout the night, and the last time I pulled him into bed, so I didn’t want to risk waking him.
Somehow I managed to get ready for work while trying to hold back tears and stop myself from shaking.  I arrived at work earlier than usual; I could not get out of my house fast enough.  I cried on the way to work.
Thanks to some close friends, I was able to process the news and get a better grasp on my future.  Without them, I’m not sure how long it would have taken me to reach acceptance and happiness.
I sent AJ a message, but unfortunately it did not go through.  So I sat at my desk for quite a while wondering why he did not call.  I understand he’s getting two boys ready for daycare, but I’m freaking out, you have to call your unexpectedly pregnant wife!  
AJ called when he dropped the boys off (which is normal routine), and I asked if he received the picture. Oh, you didn’t? Nope, what was it? Oh you know, just a POSITIVE FREAKING PREGNANCY TEST!                           Silence
AJ was not expecting the news at all – he was shocked too and asked why I felt the need to test, so I reiterated everything I had been experiencing and thinking AF should have been here by now.  AJ said we would get through this, we would find a way.  Then he joked that I would need a minivan.  Laughter is good.
THREE was not our plan.  There were so many things I intended to do this year – mainly all the adventures I was planning with the boys, and AJ and I going somewhere fun to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. I was purging all the baby stuff; I was ready to get rid of two more big, baby items that are an eye sore in our living room.  We had hoped to finish our bonus area upstairs.  So many plans for the future…
The budget was planned around two.  The house was built on the concept of two.  My décor was nailed into the wall based on two.  When I traded my truck, I made sure I had the ecofriendly, higher MPG smaller SUV that comfortably fit two carseats.  Three won’t fit…the middle seat is barely a divider between two boys who pass food back and forth.
I freaked out, and I cried because my PLAN was intended for a family of four.
But my plan is not written in stone, and I am working on making those changes to my plan. I am happy and feeling extremely blessed. We can be a family of five, we will be a family of five.
At the same time, there’s no guarantee that sometime between now and October that I don’t cry over something petty, like not being able to indulge in an adult beverage on our anniversary or take time off of work to have a family vacation (need to save those days for maternity leave!)


For a while, I kept this quote from a blog I found taped to the bottom of my computer screen at work:

"How is it possible that I am distressed and delighted at the very same time? How is it that as I find myself ready to crumble and feel so heavily burdened, and I am snapped back to reality and understand the blessing that has been bestowed upon me?
Simple: I am experiencing one of life’s greatest miracles. I was chosen out of the other billions of women on this earth to be this little girl’s mother."
6 Weeks
How far along?: 6 weeks
How big is baby?: According to What to Expect When You’re Expecting: Started the week as the size of a Plum and about to be a Peach.
Weight gain?: No gain? I mean, I really wasn’t tracking, but I do have a benchmark now.
Stretch marks?: No
Maternity clothes?: No – I will need to acquire some since I sold every piece of maternity clothing I owned.
Sleep?: Sleep has been terrible.  If something wakes me up, I have a hard time falling asleep.  My mind is constantly running, so I can’t calm down to sleep.
Best moment this week?: Finding acceptance that my life plan was changed unexpectedly.
Worst moment this week?: Honestly… watching the pregnancy test knowing that it would tell me I wasn’t pregnant, and the first thing that shows up with the positive portion of the test.  No denying that I was pregnant. I panicked, I freaked out, I started crying, and I started shaking. (The good news is I moved past denial and being upset within a few days)
Food cravings?: None yet, trying to eat the healthy stuff while I can stomach it.
Food aversions: None developed this week. I will add that I still cannot eat barbequed pork, which started when I was pregnant with Aidan. 4 years! The sight of it makes me nauseous.
Symptoms: Some nausea and morning sickness, fatigue, periods of insomnia
Exercise?: While I won’t quit exercising, I won’t do the strenuous portions of P90x either.  I only exercised a few days because I did not have the motivation or energy to do so this week.
Gender?: Too early to tell.
Movement?: Nope, still too early
Belly button?: Still in
What I miss?: Having a sound plan.  Do you sense a theme? We do prepare for the unexpected – AJ getting injured, that was unexpected. Minor car accident, unexpected, but prepared.  Aidan’s ER visit, unexpected but again, we had means to be prepared.  This wonderful blessing - completely unexpected and unprepared. However, we’ll get there, and as AJ said when I caught him off guard with the news, “We’ll figure this out, we can make anything work.”
What I'm looking forward to?: Not freaking out

7 Weeks
How far along?: 7 weeks
How big is baby?: 
Weight gain?: None.
Stretch marks?: No
Maternity clothes?: Not wearing any, trying to wear the shirts and jeans I love the most before I no longer can!
Sleep?: Sleep was better this week…if my toddler wouldn’t wake me up before 5am, I would have a full night’s rest.
Best moment this week?: Playing at the park with my boys after work!  I love being outside and running around with them.
Worst moment this week?: When the doctor’s office called and told me that my progesterone levels were lower than they like to see. Thankfully, the lower levels can be corrected easily. I feel like I’ve been on a wild rollercoaster ride of emotions over the past week – from freaking out about the pregnancy to freaking out about low levels affecting the baby.
Food cravings?: I really want greasy, thin crust pizza, but I didn’t indulge…too much effort to go by the local pizzeria since it means getting the kids out of the car.
Food aversions: So I made black bean and avocado quesadillas for lunch all week at work. I love these, but by Thursday, I was gagging, and had to throw a portion of it away. Even though I stopped eating it, I still wound up sick.
Symptoms: Some fatigue, little nausea, one case of morning sickness.  These symptoms have not been bad or seem mild compared to my boys’ pregnancies, so of course, that only adds to the paranoia about the baby being okay (ya know, the progesterone levels I mention up there). However, I know that every pregnancy can be different and no symptoms does not mean something bad. I know…doesn’t mean I won’t be paranoid.
Exercise?: Only running after my boys – I go to sleep soon after I put Aidan to bed, which was my work out time.

Gender?: Too early to tell.
Movement?: Nope, still too early
Belly button?: Still in
What I miss?: Coffee – not only as a drink to warm me up and as a pick me up, but helpful for digestive purposes too.
What I'm looking forward to?: To the ultrasound at the end of March when I am 10 weeks.  I can’t believe I have to wait so long (8 weeks with my boys), but I tried twice to reschedule my appointment with no luck.


8 Weeks


A picture was all I could manage at the end of 8 weeks, I no longer felt like I could write a blog. At week 9, I completely gave up on the picture documentation, and at week 10, the news I dreaded was confirmed.

Wrong Side of the Statistic

http://pixshark.com/funny-statistics-class-jokes.htm


If you know me, you know I can be a smart alec and like my humor. So while things can be serious, I still need to joke, but it doesn’t mean I’m discounting the seriousness of the situation.  It means I’m coping.

So in a statistic I’m considering, there are the odds of something occurring or not occurring – success and failures.  There always seems to be that pesky 1.  Somebody has to be that 1.  

Throughout the years, I felt I have (or we have) been on the good side of the statistic.  I tried to think of several examples, but I feel if I presented some of these I would jinx myself, so I’ll refrain.  But as an example, being on the good side of the statistic is approximately 1 of 3 test takers fail the Professional Engineering Exam the first time – I was not the 1.   

For some unknown reason (maybe parental exhaustion) we skipped the hoppin’ Johns and collards at New Year’s. Apparently they kept the 1 at bay all these years.  Not only good health and success, but collards and blacked eye pees keep you from being the not so fun statistic.  Not skydiving for us this year!

You can bet we will be eating extra heapings of hoppin’ Johns and collards next year, in fact, maybe we need a mid year New Year celebration.

So anyway, being the 1.  

A while back we decided to ensure we didn’t populate the earth with any more children.  We were happy with two, and two was always our plan.  We were ready for the next stage in our life, so we took extra steps to ensure we wouldn’t be able to reproduce…or so we thought.

TWO modes of failure (methods of prevention), one mode of success (ovulating at the correct time) – BAM: 1:20,000 (or 25,000 depending on the success you give ovulation)

ONE in TWENTY THOUSAND chances.  We were the ONE.

We were expecting for the third time…

Believe me, I needed to see these numbers while I commenced my freaking out.  I needed to understand the changes of this happening and accepting that this determined little blessing was meant to be.

Freaking out turned to excitement and love…

BUT then we were hit by the statistic again.

Depending on what site you read and age and other factors, you can have a different statistic, but it’s an ugly statistic no matter how you look at it. 1:4 or 1:5, it doesn’t matter, the right side is too high, how about 1:1,000,000. Yes please, but science says no.

From excitement and love to fear and panic…
The ugly word, miscarriage.

From panic to healing, but from healing to somethingisn’tright
Incomplete miscarriage, 1:50

So I went for a D&C, where I found out I needed a blood transfusion.  I’m not sure what those odds are, I’m done googling, but at least I didn’t become some other statistic in the days between miscarriage and the D&C/blood transfusion.  So my luck has had to change, right?!

From somethingisn’tright to recovery to finding peace

Now to plan my midyear New Year’s Eve celebration for June 30th.  Anyone up for fireworks, beer and hoppin’ johns with collards? Come on over, we’re shedding our 1 luck, but please don’t plan on staying up until midnight, I won’t make it.

Sharing is helping me find peace, so here I’ll share the different draft blogs I wrote and posts sharing more abut our experience:

The Third :

  • Big News! – What I wrote to share the surprising news.  My plan was to keep it a secret until we told my parents at Easter (11 weeks) and then share it on social media through my blog.
  • Following Big News! would be Surprised?.  Again, the plan was two, and I think people knew that it was two…I was quite vocal that I thought I could only handle two, especially with AJ’s job and being gone a lot on weekends.
  • 6 Weeks
  • 7 Weeks
  • 8 Weeks
Living in the Chaos

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

A Holiday Weekend in the Life

As with every major holiday, AJ has to work.  Usually he is nearby and returns home every day, but this past weekend, he was sent to help out with bike week in Myrtle Beach from Thursday morning until Monday afternoon.

So to keep the boys entertained and my mind occupied (ya know, so I don’t worry about AJ), we kept a busy schedule starting Thursday afternoon.

I was off work early Thursday to sign some bank paperwork, though the bank failed to tell me they cancelled the signing after I contacted the closing attorney who I thought was late to the closing.  It was not a good start to the weekend, but at least I was able to get the boys a little early.

Thursdays in the spring and summer mean the park or the pool.  Being that I was outside a lot for work this Thursday, I opted for the pool.  We swam for an hour or so before returning home to call it a day.



Friday the boys slept in (well after 7 am is sleeping in…).  This was Aidan’s last day in 3K, so we rushed around the house to be on time at 8:30.  I dropped both boys off so I could run errands and attempt to clean and do laundry.


Adding a cushion to a very old chair, just needs finishing touches

At 4 PM, the boys and I were at the pool.  My mom came by, too, which was helpful so at least the kid to adult ratio was 1:1.  We enjoyed pizza and basically had the pool to ourselves.

Once the boys were in bed, I packed for our busy Saturday – Zoo and the pool!

The boys were up around 7am and we were out the door by 8 am on the way to the zoo.  I like to get there early for a close parking spot and avoid some of the crowds.  By 12:30 both of the boys were exhausted so we headed back to Aiken.  I had promised Aidan a new toy if he was good the last two weeks of 3k and if he was good for me – off to Target we went.  Aidan chose a transforming ninja turtle.  I HIGHLY recommend not getting this toy, it causes more tears than smiles through it’s frustrating (to toddlers) to transform.  The turtle shell comes unlatched often, and well, that’s unacceptable to a 3 year old.


Carousel ride and a pretzel are a must at the zoo for these boys




video

Again, we arrived home close to bed time, so after baths, the boys relaxed while watching Mickey Mouse while I unloaded the car, loaded the dish washer and washer machine, and tried to eat something. Hah.  

Sunday, I decided we would take it easy.  The boys woke up around 7 again, and I snuggled in bed with both of them, getting lots of hugs and kisses from them.  After breakfast, I attempted to clean the house while the boys played in the living room.  Owen wanted to color, so I let him have two markers.  Then I made the mistake of getting dressed to take them to the park.


Only Crayola washable products are allowed in this house for the reason you see above.. not pictured is the colored floor and walls


The boys played at the park for several hours, breaking for a snack.  We then hit up Kroger since I wanted to read the Sunday paper.  Owen fell asleep on the way home, and I was able to transfer him to the crib without interrupting his nap.  Aidan ate and played quietly while I found more laundry to do.  By the time Owen woke up for his nap, we were ready to go back to the pool.  Papa and Grammy met us at the pool, so Aidan played with Papa most of the time.  Aidan loves to dive down in the water with Papa and show off his swimming ability, plus it’s not quite hot enough for me to want to go fully under the water willingly. 



Again, another late evening at the pool, so I got the boys home, fed, and into bed.  Then I prepared for the next day, packing for the kid’s museum and possibly the pool or splash park.

The boys were up before 7 am, so we were able to leave by 7:45 to arrive at Edventure’s when they open at 9AM.  We enjoyed exploring the new Potato Head exhibit, the butterfly garden, and all of the other play areas for several hours.  Around noon, the boys were exhausted and hungry, so we headed home.


In Owen's grovery cart, he stocks up on an essential  - chocolate ice cream cones 

AJ called to tell me he would be home around 1 PM, so instead of the pool or splash park, we headed home. AJ set up the water slide and played with the boys until bath time.


bottom middle is my crazy toddler howling like a dog, so it's only fitting he uses a doggy door

I survived the weekend of solo parenting and enjoyed waking up Tuesday morning to peace and quiet.  I enjoyed hot coffee with my breakfast and not telling anyone to eat, sit down, or quit messing with your brother…but I’ll miss my boys while I’m at work, but I sure do need to recuperate from the weekend!

The not so good highlights

  • Owen swallowed a penny (passed it with no issues)
  • Aidan thought he would die because he had a blister on his ankle from wearing his crocs too much
  • I ran out of wine!
  • Seeing the family photos of everyone's fun weekend,  not going to lie, I was jealous that the entire family had quality time together for 3 to 4 days.