Sunday, November 17, 2013

Dear Owen

Dear Owen,

As I stare at your face with tears streaming down mine, I wonder where time has gone.  It seems like yesterday I was crying when I met you for the first time.  Now I'm laying you in your crib and hoping to fall asleep in a bed that feels too far away from you.

I hope to nurse you every morning, even if that means you sleep less at night. I yearn for that opportunity, that contact, those smiles before I rush off to work.  Give me those moments where time seems to stand still, where I can hear your noises as you nurse, and hold you until you burp and fall back asleep.  I look forward to our early encounters, I know it will help me get through the day, especially over the next few weeks as we both transition to our new routine.

I'll miss our days of endless cuddles, but don't think I won't make up for lost cuddles on the weekends, so be prepared.  Be prepared for kisses on your cheeks and big smiles...and big tears.  I won't mean to wake you with my crying, but I can't hold back the emotion.  So please, just smile at me and know that you healed my aching heart.

I'll try not to pet your head too much -  I love your little peach fuzz.  And I know I'll stare at your photo every chance I get. I'll miss you so much, baby boy.

I can't remember what our family was like before you came; you complete us. I'll miss watching your big brother kiss you good bye and saying "I love you, baby Owen." before he goes to school. He absolutely adores you, and it makes my love even stronger for both of you.  I can't wait to see what best friends y'all become but at this moment, I want to freeze time.  Right now, I want Sunday to be every day and for you to stay my baby..though I do look forward to you growing up and all the great things you'll do.  It's just tonight, mom's heart aches, but I'll get through this with the strength of my boys.

I love you baby, Owen, I love you so much.


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