life with my boys

Dear Aidan,

My how time has flown...it seems like yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital. Now your are holding your head up, curious about your environment, and playing "Simon Says" with your cooing and "talking". I admit, the first few weeks were very challenging, and I wasn't sure if I would make it through the entire maternity leave with my sanity. But the clouds broke and sun shone through as you began to smile, interact, and give mom a little bit of sleep and a break through out the day. 

For the past week, I have cried every time I think of leaving you to work.  I will miss the mornings when you stretch, smile, fart, and then coo at me as I stare into your eyes and am amazed by how much you have grown.  I miss the morning "Party on the Changing Table" song and dance that we do.  I will miss the morning feeding - you are quick to latch on and eat, then you will fall to sleep and snack until I put you back in the crib or down beside me.  Your morning routine is one of my favorites that I will have to cherish three days of week instead of seven.

I didn't cry when you were born - I wanted to, but I think every ounce of moisture that I had was perspired through my pores during twenty intense minutes of pushing.  I loved you from the first sight, there's no mistaking that.  But as I go back to work, I will be lucky if I don't cry - I'm sure when the garage door shuts and I back out of the driveway, when I pump milk for you, or when I see your picture on my computer screen, I will shed tears and miss you so much.

But we will get through this - we will have bath time every  night, regardless of whether you need it or not.  You love to talk, splash, and hold my fingers while you bathe.  You are so happy that I need those smiles and coos every day.  I need you to promise me that you will save some of that happiness for me when I get home.  We will nurse every night before bed - I love our bond and I know it's a good routine for you and me. 

We'll make it through this together...we may shed a few more tears along the way that we normally wouldn't, but we'll be okay.  I promise.

Love,

Mom