life with my boys

Dear Aidan,

While daddy and I eagerly await your arrival, there are precious moments I know I am going to miss.  Right now, I can be selfish without someone accusing me of being so.  I have no way to share you, though I do alert daddy when you are kicking and moving so he can feel you, too.  However, one day soon, I will no longer be able to be at work and feel you moving, turning, kicking and punching.  I know I will miss this closeness that I have with you, and I know there will be many other events that will melt my heart.  But I cannot help but think about the things I will miss once you are born.

I will miss hearing your heartbeat when you're sleeping, and I'm an anxiously awaiting you to move to confirm you're still safe and sound inside of me.

I will miss the morning wake-up kicks on my morning drive to work - our quiet time together. 

I will miss those soft punches that sometimes cause my leg to stumble - I know you don't mean to cause me to stumble, and you're just saying hello and stretching out.

I will miss rubbing your butt and back when you press it hard against my abs; sometimes I am not sure if a BH contraction is occurring until I rub the area and you move.

I will miss wondering whether you're moving or whether I am feeling a BH contraction or period like cramping which could mean early labor.  So far, you have fooled me, and yes, I do get my hopes up.  Especially since I am now 37 weeks, I know labor would not be stopped if I went to the hospital.

I will miss the ultrasound images of you moving around or peacefully sleeping.  I know I have videos and pictures to remember these events by, but there's something special seeing you for the first time, watching you move for the first time, and viewing you in 3D where we can see your actual features for the first time.  These moments were remarkable and definitely brought a few tears to my eyes.

I know missing all of these things means that I will have you in my arms, which will be a great feeling, but I will have to share you, too.  Daddy will want to hold you, and there are plenty of people in our lives who will want to love on you, too!  That's a good thing...but for now, I will enjoy being selfish and continue to cherish our moments together until you decide you're ready to make your debut.

Love,

Mom